Intermission
Sonoran Whipsnake
I haven't forgotten them. I can't switch them off, even if I tried. Birds are all around me all the time. My mission may be on hold, but I have found myself again. I lost myself in the world of birding and then.....I found balance in every part of my life.
A new relationship, a new job, Mexican prospects, and a new outlook were what I needed to kickstart this next chapter of my life. I am grateful to my new work family of 2 years now for having given me my teacher energy back. I, along with most of the staff at my old work place, left a very toxic environment. And I have found purpose again. It kicked my ass because I deal with middle school kids now but I feel like I am making a difference again. I am always grateful to my old work family of 22 years for their friendships and support. And I am so grateful to have found another crew of talented people who inspire me to do my best every day. Plus I get to keep bird feeders outside my classroom door! It's not a bad gig.
It hasn't been quite 2 years yet from my divorce but we both are moving our separate ways. I have dedicated my monies this year to renovating my home. And staying home! And sleeping in! And enjoying my home! This summer I have been working on the new flooring project that will go in next month. Bye bye carpet! And hello new home vibes! When it all becomes overwhelming, I leave the house for a quick bird outing nearby.
Perhaps the most exciting is my bird research in northern Sonora, Mexico. I dream of living in Mexico again. Lately, we've been house hunting in Sonora dreaming about a new adventure. I have goals now after retirement. I have always wanted to live outside of the United States. Mexican food, kindness and affordability all come into play. But the important part is that I can make a difference in my bird research here as well as in other's people's lives. I have discovered Cinnamon-rumped Seedeater and Great Kiskadee rather close to the US border with Arizona. And I finally added Mallard to my Mexican lifelist!!!! You'd think that would be easy but it's not! After all these years of Mexican birding, I discovered I had never seen a Mallard anywhere in Mexico. The reason? Most of the ducks past the border are either domesticated or Mexican ducks. The hybridization of Mallard and Mexican Ducks happen around the Tucson to Phoenix region. The further south you go, like to Green Valley or Rio Rico, the hybridization zone disappears and pure Mexican Ducks are more likely to appear....especially in the summer months. However, pure Mexican Ducks are not uncommon in the Tucson area, but you have to check them VERY carefully as most are hybrids.
My priorities? Health and love. I feel..young...again. I feel the color returning to my hair. I feel I laugh and argue much more than I used to...which are signs that I'm doing it right:) The difference is that I don't take myself as seriously anymore nor the birding. It's for me. And I'm not there to argue or discuss bird things with others anymore. We had an incident where another birder wanted to argue that his bird was a Brown-crested Flycatcher. My friend was going to get into the discussion but I made a general comment like, "Aren't difficult ID's the best? You'll have to look at the picture when you get home." It's not worth the headaches anymore. I have honestly come to believe that if you call yourself a birder(and I do), especially men and a smaller portion of women, we must somehow be on the autism scale. Many men take everything so seriously and birding then becomes less fun. I've learned to let that go and just have fun. They, the men, say women birders talk too much but I'd argue that there are just as many men who are chatty...if not more! It's like football stats non stop.
One evening, I went with my friend Celeste and Cheroot up to Mt. Lemmon to hear some night birds and have some wine while watching the strawberry moon. We had skunks all around us and listened to the Mexican Whip-poor-wills. During night birding, it helps to go with friends who are not chatty so you can hear the birds:)
At the end of last year, things were not looking good for me. In fact, the beginning of this year was pretty awful for me healthwise. After 50, you either take care of your health or you die early. I have too much birding to do in this life yet. I have too much living to do yet. I've lost 28 pounds and am working on 28 more by the end of this year. My blood pressure is beautiful again and hopefully my blood sugar level has returned to a normal range. Diabetes is NO joke.
Gould's Turkey
My observations are deeper. Chasing a rare bird isn't at the top of my list anymore. But understanding what the common birds are doing is important. So the observations go deeper.
male Blue Grosbeak
For those in my inner circle of non-birders but love nature, I share my binoculars and tell them to listen and look. They can't believe that they've never seen such beautiful birds before! And they're good at spotting them once you start helping them zone in on their songs. Honestly, it's good because I'm terrible at spotting. So they do a great job getting on the bird before I do. Then it becomes a game for everyone. The kids love it.
Black-headed Grosbeak
Do I dream of getting back out there again? Yes. I do dream of exploring soon. But with the intent to bird a little and have a little romance whilst traveling with my other half. It took me 2 visits to understand why I was not happy with Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. It's a top notch place for birds. My first time, I was alone. While I was okay with the solitude, I felt like I was missing out on the greater picture. My marriage was starting to fall apart and I recognized things had been changing between us. While on a romantic cruise to an island to see some birds, I saw so many couples having fun. Then there was just me, looking at birds. I told myself that I would also be with my other half if I wasn't birding. But the truth was....I chose this for myself. I found my birds but it was a sad empty feeling.
Acorn Woodpecker
The second time I went to Puerto Vallarta, I went with friends. We had a nice time seeing some beautiful birds and landscapes. But again, there was this nagging feeling of being alone and missing out on the bigger picture. Now, I am going to correct this and do it right. The third time will be the charm. And maybe I'll get a lifer in the process. It might be my only one for this year but I'm okay with it all. Taking this time off from crazy travel has been so healing.
Hepatic Tanager
Plus I live in Tucson, there's always a pleasant surprise or two that show up. 
Common Gallinule, formally American Moorhen
There's nothing like a visit from a Least Grebe, a Mexican vagrant, to get me into my car and drive. It's those little joys that remind me how much I love nature and the living creatures that occupy that space. It's also a reminder to protect our beautiful public lands from the assholes who would sell it off to the rich. Once that public land is gone, we will never get it back. I'm glad both sides agreed that it was a bad idea. BUT they still passed a bad bill in congress and now many of those who voted for this orange clown will suffer the consequences and rural towns will struggle even more. Honestly, after working through the first Trump administration and trying to figure out relationships with family and friends, I've just given all those who voted for the criminal up in my life. I don't want anything to do with them anymore after this second time around. This is not my country anymore.
I've stayed within my own protective little world for mental sanity avoiding the public whenever possible. I cloak myself, most of the time, from the birding community and stay in the background focusing on my personal life. In a way, I feel like I am going alone on my own journey now. It's a path that most people will not take but it's one that excites me. It's something I've always wanted and now I can make it a reality. The possibilities are endless. And dreams can come true. Most Americans would tell me good riddance. What a country we've become. I have lost hope for the people here. But I will move on because I have not closed myself off to the world of possibilities. So I leave them to their own mess they've created.
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