A Distraction from Reality

These days, I am often exhausted living between 2 worlds.  I think about writing for the blog but I just don't have the energy.  I do make a moment for birds.  I have to do it or I would go mad. 

                                                          A rare Bald Eagle in Willcox

When something can't be fixed, one has to let it go.  I have set myself up well for that transition in a few years if I want it. To state it clearly, I am embarrassed to be an American citizen. I am disappointed with my country. The morons will say, "Good, leave!" And I just laugh. Idiots. My dream has always been to live in Mexico.  And my life is heading in that direction, letting everything that makes me angry, gone. Eggs are plentiful in Mexico because farmers, not corporations, are in control.  They think they know best, but they haven't a clue. One just needs to learn how to navigate the waters of opportunity if it's there. Nothing is better anywhere...well maybe New Zealand is the exception. 

                                                                       Curve-billed Thrasher

What good is learning Spanish if I can't use it?  These next years ahead are what I call the "focused" years.  I could retire early or set myself up better.  Mental health is everything.  On the occasion that I bird, I am reminded why I love it.  I would go go go all the time and sometimes take it for granted.  Now when I go out birding, I relish the moments. And I hate thinking that I have to go back to my reality. 

                                                                         Abert's Towhee

While divorce was never in my cards, it did give me a second chance at life.  I love Mexico but I have to admit that Nogales, a border town, is not where it's at:)  But Julio is.  So we make it work.  Me with the vision and Julio with the heart. I'd love him here with me in the US so that we could hike and bird like crazy.  However, there's a message in all of this and it's quite the hard line. I hem and haw at the idea.  I don't know if I'd want him to live here. The MAGA movement and supporters are pretty gross. There are a few good things that are happening but not much else with this almost Hitler like dictatorship.  History does repeat itself. The set up is happening now.  I don't want to be here when all hell breaks loose. 

                                    Black-throated Sparrows

What have I always wanted? Mexico. Guatemala. Julio and I will go to Guatemala in October.  I want to show him this magical world.  He works so hard for so little.  I don't struggle but my heart is damaged. When we're together, we both feel complete and happy. Inevitably, the weekend comes to an end.  My blood pressure goes up as I have to return to the US. I'd rather be poor and happy than live like robots in a society that doesn't seem to care for others any more. But, from my hard work and dedication over the years, I could make a dream truly come true.  I could even become American-Mexican. 

                                                                 Green-tailed Towhee

After I graduated, I wanted to live in Mexico only to realize, I couldn't afford to live there.  The pay was so bad for teachers and I had college debt.  The closest I could be to Mexico was in Tucson, AZ.  So I have lived here ever since.  

                                                                 Loggerhead Shrike

From my years of travel around the world, I imagined living in these spaces. In most cases, I could live anywhere.  There is beauty everywhere.  I thought my trek to Sal, Cape Verde would get boring after 3 weeks since it was a desert island.  Come to find out, in a place where nothing happens, was just what I needed.  So peaceful. So joyful.  Julio offers me a chance to change the course of the future after a lot of hard work and dedication.  He does not know what plans I have in store for us, but there is an ocean, cobblestone streets, latin life and a world of beauty ahead of us. And there will be so many birds. I know many people who live in Mexico but I look at Mark Stackhouse and David McKay as role models for making life in Mexico possible. Especially as a bird guide. 

                                                                      Audubon's Warbler

Change is scary.  Letting go of Arizona may be difficult.  But I have also learned that change is necessary in life. I was never meant to be a Hobbit and live and die in one place.  I was meant to be like one of those international birds like a House Sparrow, European Starling, Western Cattle Egret or Rock Pigeon.  I was never an endemic.  And while I might be considered a migrant bird after all is said and done, like a warbler, grosbeak, vireo, etc, I do enjoy new habitats while exploring new lands. 

                                                                White-crowned Sparrow
 These pics were taken during several short birdy outings in January.  I still have to cover Puerto Vallarta and San Blas from last summer.  Stay tuned for more.  Until next time, happy birding!