Strange New Worlds

 Ten years(officially) of intense exploration into the world of birds has lead me to this moment.  I didn't know how it would change me.  I just knew it would.  It's a travel of the heart, mind, friendships and exploration. Some treks include friends, others with my hubby, and some are strictly spiritual in nature. They have all lead to this moment.  It actually feels longer than 10 years because there has been so much change.  

This month and during this past week, I celebrated my 10th year anniversary as a birder.  Back in 2011, I had no idea what was in store for me.  As an answer to a lifelong question, it came to me in the form of a manakin. Just inches away from my face in a remote place on this planet, several Long-tailed Manakins danced along a branch. That moment will forever be burned in my mind. It was that one singular momentary dance on a very muddy trail that forever sparked my love for all wildlife and in particular, birds. Mexico changed my young life. Panama changed the way I looked at nature in a deeper meaningful way.

I always loved wildlife.  I always loved birds. But it was only at the surface.  What has transpired over the years is a very deep connection to the planet and everything surrounding the idea concerning "nature".  I suppose this could be taught in some fashion, but for me, it was a very personal and ever consuming desire to know more about our birds. I couldn't tell you why.  I liked dinosaurs as a kid? My mom raised parrots?  My grandparents had bird feeders so that they could yell at the squirrels?  Maybe it was all of the above. I remember as a boy chasing a Killdeer, catching frogs and being fascinated by the thousands of migrating Monarch butterflies that once flew all over my hometown. I read Arizona Highways and lots of Ranger Rick magazines.

I was always a gypsy at heart. As a kid, I explored every nook and cranny of my hometown but I eventually started to expand my curiosity. I heard strange people speak strange languages.  It was a puzzle for me that I needed to decipher.  And after falling in love with Mexico during my teenage years, I was hooked. Decades later, my passion for languages took a turn for the birds.  It took me to a new level of language.  One that I find fascinating.  I've been asked these questions  by other birders.  "Would you rather lose your sight or hearing?"  Neither really.  But if I had no choice I'd give up my sight.  There is nothing more thrilling than to hear a bird sing or a human speak.  Hopefully I will never lose either. 

In 2011, I imagined the fantastical possibilities of those bird journeys taking me to strange new places I had never considered. These treks have been everything and more to me over the years.  What I didn't expect was the sadness that would accompany me with this complete and wonderful joy. People come and people go.  They live and they die.  It gave me a sense of my own mortality.  Each moment in the field is a unique and special one that will never happen again.  I had to make choices.  Move ahead and continue these studies or sacrifice that trip for a friend who would not be around for another year. It makes everything so much harder the older I get. It's a balancing act. Hugging my Grandma several years ago was one of those particular moments.  She cried and told me that it would probably be the last time we saw each other again.  I knew at some level that she was right but I didn't want to accept the truth.  And she was right.  I'm not one for the holidays but for some reason I felt the need to fly home and see my Grandma. I'm glad I did.  Both Micheal and myself were able to give her a huge hug and tell her we loved her.  

Of course there have been many many more moments like this over the years.  Most people don't start birding until they are older.  Or at least that was how it used to be.  Their lessons have taught me to absorb every moment to the fullest.  Memorize it.  Take it in.  Don't rush to get that next tick.  Study.  Remember. 

There are so many layers to the birding world. There's the art.  There's the exploration.  The knowledge. It also connects all these great minds together across the planet.  It essentially elevates a person to the next level or it can offer that possibility if a person is open to it. 

In those moments, like when we descended the old stone cliff stairs of  Holyhead searching for Razorbills or that monthlong paperwork to access a restricted area to see the rare Lesser Prairie- Chickens of New Mexico, I am reminded why I do what I do. 

As some of you know all too well, we study and research for hours and hours on birds.  Sometimes it's a several month journey for one species of bird!  With each bird comes a story.  And from each experience comes an understanding.  After 10 years, which is a drop in the birding bucket, I still find myself learning. And I'm a better person for it.  

I've aged but I still feel like me, a kid explorer.  When I bird with this lady above, I am reminded how she taught me that there were other people like myself who just drove around exploring spaces for fun, not because it was a destination.  The destination got lost somewhere in-between. 

I found many others like myself.  A group of gypsies connected by birds and nature.  We are happy alone or together. 

There comes a point when you can outgrow a space.  We can adapt or get stuck. Sometimes fear of the unknown dictates our actions.  Sometimes it excites the mind and helps us get through a day of mundane adulting. The classroom at my regular day job is unique.  On my downtime, as a reward for myself, I leave birding books to far away places on the bottom of a grading basket.  I put them under the papers I have to grade to help motivate me to get my work done.  

It's a Spanish classroom with lots of personal stories. Sometimes students think they can sidetrack me with their questions and get me off topic.  I let them ask their questions because I know it's more important than the subject I teach because it's life. It's about our living world.  It's about the world they will be entering. 

This week, I am going to reconnect with a friend who passed away back in December. At one moment last night during my walk, I had a little tear, but I could hear her voice in my head.  "It's okay.",  she said with her laugh. And I know it is.  Her words were always so kind and inspirational. Her life stories were amazing.  Sydney was an example of that moment that got away from me due to covid.  We can do our best to plan, but sometimes our best is not good enough. And in the end, I wasn't able to say good-bye to her like I had hoped. This week I leave for Sequim to meet Sydney's family and friends.  I will be collecting her ashes to take back to the island where it all began. She would want that. She had always wanted me to see her cabin in Sequim! Now, I'll get to see it. It's funny that only now I can hear her voice so clearly after she's gone.  I am thankful for the time we had together.  Again, it reminds me to take in those moments.  My greatest 2 laughs with Sydney included a scream and a banana crab spider in her room and a guy flirting with her at an Audubon center when she fell asleep on the couch at Corkscrew.  He took a feather and tickled her nose. Ahhh Florida.

Birding is a very personal thing for me.  After 10 years, this is where the journey has lead me. A lot of times the best kind of birding happens when NO itinerary is in place. What will birding look like in the next 10 years?  Will I even make it for the next 10?  Or will the house projects take ahold of me? 😃  Whatever happens, I'm sure there will be stories. And I hope it's the same for you:)  Life is all about the storytelling and experiences.